we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
