The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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