He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
