ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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