what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
