People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
