where am i from again
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
