her vagine was all disorganized.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
