I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Watching her eat just hurts me
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
