Fine. I'll sleep in my office
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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