You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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