i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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