i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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