Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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