why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
