you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
