I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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