4 words: hood of his car
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
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