the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
