I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize
