Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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