i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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