who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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