Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
