Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
