I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Randomize
