I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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