her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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