when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Randomize
