she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
