apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
