I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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