I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We had to coat check the pizza.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
