Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
