You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
