somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
