I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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