I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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