I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
