Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize