office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
