TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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