he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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