I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
