It's Friday. Sex?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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