Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
