Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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