census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
