so that wasnt chicken after all
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There r osticjed everywhere
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
