I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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