I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
