and i looked up. we had an audience...
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
