i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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