never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
