Where is the hickey?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
NoShamevember. You game?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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