she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
