"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
