The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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