I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
